Creating your Guest List
Creating the wedding guest list is one of the most important, and often challenging, parts of planning your special day. It required a fine balance between family traditions, close friends, and the vision you both share for your celebration.
Discussing the guest list with your partner ensures that your expectations and preferences are aligned, so your wedding day will be filled with the people who mean the most to you.
Set your budget and capacity
How many guests can you afford to invite? Will everyone attend both the ceremony and reception? Do you want a large, traditional wedding? Or a small, intimate gathering? What is the capacity of your chosen venue?
This is your starting point. If your budget doesn't allow for a large guest list, then you can focus on creating an intimate ceremony that you and your closest loved ones will cherish.
Write a list of everyone you would ever consider inviting
If money and space was not an issue, make a list of every person you would invite. Begin with immediate family and close friends, and work outwards, including partners, children, and distant acquaintances. This is your master list, capturing everyone you envision sharing in your celebration.
Categorise your guests
This will help you prioritise and make decisions
Front row: These are the non-negotiables, those without whom you wouldn’t want to get married. Their presence is essential.
Second row: These are the special people you would love to have on your wedding day. While their presence is important, it wouldn't ruin your day if they couldn’t make it.
Third row: These are the guests you would really like to include, or those whose absence would be noticeable.
Fourth row: These are the guests who you feel obliged to invite, perhaps due to social or family expectations.
Make cuts
Ask yourself:
Do they bring me joy?
Have we spoken in the last year?
Do we spend time together outside of work?
Do we have a close personal or family connection?
How close are we, really?
Will they make our wedding more memorable, in a good or a bad way?
Will not inviting them cause family drama?
Will I regret not inviting them later?
Do I genuinely want them there?
Do I need to invite their plus-one?
Do I want children at the wedding?
I was invited to this couples wedding, but we haven’t hung out since. Do I still want to invite them?
Am I inviting them out of guilt?
Can I afford to have them at your wedding?
Did they acknowledge our engagement?
If I knew them when our kids were born, did I hear from them?
Don’t hesitate to consider designating some guests as ‘ceremony only’, ‘reception only’, or ‘evening only’, depending on your budget and venue space.
Send invitations
Once you have finalised your guest list, start by sending out save-the-dates, followed by formal invitations. Be sure to keep track of RSVP’s, and follow up with anyone who hasn’t responded by the deadline.
Prepare for changes
Since circumstances can change, be prepared to add or remove names from your guest list. Consider having a back-up list of potential guests in case someone needs to cancel.
Stay organised
Use spreadsheets or wedding planning websites to keep track of RSVPs, addresses, dietary restrictions, and seating requirements. These tools will help you stay organised and ensure everything runs smoothly on your big day.
Other tips
Make a draft and review it: Start with a draft of your guest list and review it together. This will help you see the bigger picture and make any necessary adjustments.
Host a post-wedding celebration: If you want to include people you were unable to invite to the wedding, consider organising a relaxed dinner or a casual party after the main event.
Treat family members equally: While everyone’s relationships are unique, an all-or-nothing approach can sometimes simplify things
Keep your guest list private: Let people know you’re keeping it intimate. This helps manage expectations, and maintain a close-knit atmosphere
Stick to your decisions: Stand your ground and avoid overthinking. Trust your instincts and decisions to keep the process smooth.
Give plenty of notice to parents: If children aren’t invited, inform parents well in advance so they can organise childcare.
Consider exceptations for guests with newborns and breastfeeding babies.
Include parents of children in the wedding party: If children are in the wedding party, make sure to invite the parents as well.
Offer plus ones to those who won’t know anyone: Consider giving a plus one to guests who might not know many people at the wedding, helping them to feel more comfortable and included
Remember, it’s your day, and the guest list should reflect the people who matter most to you and your partner. Don’t feel pressured to invite anyone you don’t truly want there.
